Kinder Fine Paintings
Euclid's Bastard by Christof D.
Cat. 01 / 07

Euclid's Bastard

Mixed media on paper, 2005 · 30 × 30 cm (tondo)

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New York · The Hague

Celebrating the emergence of human creativity.

“Mathematics and geometry have deadened life on earth.”

— From “Euclid's Bastard”

Selected Catalogue Entries

The Christof D. Collection

Euclid's Bastard by Christof D.
Euclid's Bastard by Christof D., Mixed media on paper, 2005

Cat. 01

Euclid's Bastard

Christof D. · Mixed media on paper, 2005 · 30 × 30 cm (tondo)

Cubism · Surrealism

In "Euclid's Bastard or Timeo mathematica et dona ferentes", Christof D. depicts the 'gift' of geometry and the burden it has placed on humanity. The viewer is first struck by a large structure dominating the canvas. Is it a giraffe? A water tower? The terrifying answer in store for the viewer is that it's a horse. Geometric lines have replaced the natural curvature of the horse's body, stripping it of its beauty, nay of its vitality. The message is clear: mathematics and geometry have deadened life on earth. Yes, THAT mathematics — universal in its nature, pure in its biases and infinite in its promise to help us understand the heavens. All rubbish, says Christof. He loads the beast with manure and its filth infects the stars and even the sun.

Disturbing elements are everywhere. The creature's tilted and towering neck emerges midway through its torso, refuting the idea that mathematics is leading. On top sits a triangular head that evokes the mythical Sphinx, traditionally considered both treacherous and merciless. Extra filth is smeared across it as it mocks the viewer with its irregular and outsized ears. Down below, its feet crush humanity into rectangular conformity. Even mountains, nature's great barriers, pose no threat. Oceans neither. In Christof's telling, mathematics will dominate and subdue all it encounters. Indeed, it is his answer to the troubling question William Butler Yeats raised in his Second Coming: "And what rough beast, its hour come round at last / Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?"

Does humanity have any recourse in face of this tyranny? Christof encodes a solution in the blue spirals in the top right, placed deftly as the beast looks away. What is this message? Quite simply, take water and scrub away all vestiges of geometrically constructed art. All of it! That's humanity's escape, and its salvation. Christof metaphorically starts with his own work. He's cut the corners out, creating an irregular, non-geometrical circle frame for the message. Look close and you can see dried water drops in places — destruction by a full wetted sponge is imminent. He's ready to sacrifice it all. The question he asks is "Are you?"


A Grand Old Tree by Christof D.
A Grand Old Tree by Christof D., Watercolour and collage on paper, 2004

Cat. 02

A Grand Old Tree

Christof D. · Watercolour and collage on paper, 2004 · 28 × 28 cm

Fauvism · Cubism

Christof D.'s "A Grand Old Tree" is his first and only work addressing contemporary political issues. The title plays on the phrase "Grand Old Party" (GOP) which is synonymous with the Republican party. That nickname first entered the Congressional Record in 1875 and referred to Lincoln's successful military defence of the Union during the Civil War. Christof pays homage to this history by representing the party as an old tree with deep roots with few peers in the scene.

But 'grand' it is not, according to Christof. Simulating an enraged chimpanzee, the tree hurls its excrement towards the viewer. These faeces, represented by bold red, green and yellow shapes, have polluted the atmosphere we breathe. The orange head of the tree is a clear premonition of Donald Trump and his cheap perma-tan. Not all are offended, however. Near the tree, we see a gleeful man with a cartoonish smile on his face and extra-large gloves eager to catch the debris emanating from the party. But he largely misses out. Here Christof is noting that Trump's wrath is generally directed at other elites, much higher than the common man he claims to serve. The commentary suggests that Trump selfishly uses these working-class people as shields and decorations in his fight. Trump does hit the mark with Liberal elites, however, denoted by flying, manure-smeared bugs annoyingly flying around the tree. Christof plays no political favourites here, representing the bugs variously with dunce caps or as various insects. The bees are figuratively in Trump's bonnet, as denoted by the squiggly line in the centre of the orange sphere. Junior, less elite bugs, crawl instinctively towards the tree, unable to just walk away. They can only hope some Trump droppings land on them, elevating them in status among their peers.

Amid the chaos, the grass is still green and the sky remains blue. This is Christof's positive message to humanity, to look back from the tree and enjoy the proverbial forest. Nature endures.


The Green Bowtie by Christof D.
The Green Bowtie by Christof D., Watercolour on paper, 2003

Cat. 03

The Green Bowtie

Christof D. · Watercolour on paper, 2003 · 35 × 25 cm

Expressionism · Surrealism

Christof D.'s work often focuses on the themes of transition, rebellion and the conflict between mind and body using both pop cultural and historical references. In 'The Green Bowtie', these themes come together and challenge the viewer to understand their intersections. Where do they add power to each other, and where do they negate?

The viewer is initially drawn to the irregular jagged line at the top of the piece, signifying its importance to the theme. The bold black line alludes to Charlie Brown's famed shirt and Bart Simpson's spiky hair. The first reference recalls the turbulent and revolutionary 60s, when Peanuts achieved the height of its fame; the second evokes Bart's rebellious and mischievous nature. There should be yellow surrounding the line to make both references complete but Christof denies us the mellowing influence of the colour, leaving us to confront the stark meaning of the line's meaning.

Below the line, the components of a boy can be discerned, who is clearly Christof himself. Note the cool colours below the neck and the hotter tones above it. These highlight the inability of the artist's limbs to fully capture the fevered conceptions of beauty dancing in the mind. When viewed with Bart's hairline, Christof admits his nonconformity, while the Charlie Brown stripe reflects young children dealing with adult and societal issues. Christof identifies with that portrayal, reminding us that we're still children in adult bodies, universally unequipped to handle these complex dilemmas.

The green bowtie, normally a decorative adornment, is charged with holding the disparate body parts together. It's a hopeless mission. The outsized tie is deformed by the strain and appears ready to fly off the neck in a fit of despair. Note also the eyes peering above the tie. Christof is curious about the viewer's reaction, seemingly hopeful to witness the viewer's discomfort.

Below the neck, more abstractions and allusions. The torso is reduced to a mere pebble, incapable of carrying the weight of Christof's ambition, yet the head remains balanced. The feet, irregular and unjointed, emphasize the artist's clumsy and uneven journey to arrive at his unpleasant truths. Here Christof is clearly alluding to the simplicity and abstraction of Picasso's Woman Throwing a Stone as well as to the subconscious rebellion of Dali's Soft Construction with Boiled Beans (Premonition of Civil War).

Where are hands? They seem to be missing but Christof has located them beneath his feet (really, beneath nearly everything). There they lie — abstracted and unrecognisable. We are invited to join Christof in his despair at these incompetent tools. But there's another message. It's the artist's statement to his critics yearning for realism and concreteness. Christof will not acquiesce to these simple demands because his hands don't acquiesce. They can't. Nature doesn't allow them. And art must be honest to nature.


The Pestilence of Virtue by Christof D.
The Pestilence of Virtue by Christof D., Watercolour with gold leaf on paper, 2007

Cat. 04

The Pestilence of Virtue

Christof D. · Watercolour with gold leaf on paper, 2007 · 40 × 30 cm

Art Nouveau · Symbolism

Disgust, revulsion and decrepitude — all are on prominent display in Christof D.'s 'The Pestilence of Virtue'. Undoubtedly Christof's most controversial piece, the watercolour is filled with uncomfortable messages to the viewer.

One is first struck by the gold-encrusted wings of the bird and the stigmas of the flowers. Reflecting on the self-absorbed bird, one realises that it will never fly like it should with that heavy metal on its wings. The odd vertical branches in front of it further suggest the fowl's imprisonment as it gazes out through the bars. And what does it behold? An unrelenting sea of pea-vomit. To the bird, however, we imagine it only sees the colour of money. Such is the power of one's worldview — it crafts the very weather we experience, the very atmosphere we must breathe. We lament the bird's plight, and its poignant inability to discern its true situation.

And what of the flowers? Christof masterfully incorporates a pun on the term 'stigma,' beckoning the astute observer to unravel its significance. The shimmering pistils of the flowers reflect not vanity, however, but the glow of goodness, an innate desire to be righteous. One wonders if the bird finds solace in seeing others similarly chained by their virtues. Perhaps he vainly misconstrues their gleaming stigmas as reflecting his own noble sacrifice for beauty. And one young flower, courageously leaning into the cage, seems to wish for that same moral clarity, even at the cost of freedom. Through this juxtaposition, Christof's masterpiece forces a dramatic turn that upends our understanding: vanity and virtue are in fact kindred spirits, both unwittingly binding and blinding their victims to prisons of their own making.

Over to the left, two elder blooms, perhaps the entering flower's parents, proudly watch the young one entering the cage. It's a heart-wrenching sight, the heavy mantle of righteousness leading to the tragic cycle of entrapment and pride being perpetuated in the next generation. The elderly flowers themselves seem lost, having long accepted their captivity. But Christof is making one last attempt to reach us. Indeed, amidst a world of discarded candy wrappers and TikTok bulldozer videos, his work violently grabs us by the lapels and asks, "When will we ever learn?"


Ja! by Olivia K.
Ja! by Olivia K., Watercolor on paper, 2024

Cat. 05

Ja!

Olivia K. (The Okapela Collection) · Watercolor on paper, 2024 · 40 × 30 cm

Abstract Expressionism

The artist's mind acts as a frighteningly complex arena. In Panel IV of her "Explainer Series", Olivia confronts the viewer with uncomfortable truths regarding childhood cognition. Drawing inspiration from Salvador Dali's "Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee Around a Pomegranate a Second Before Awakening", this chaotic composition functions as an accurate forensic map her mind, capturing the precise millisecond the word "Ja!" escapes her lips. The message is clear: simple binary interpretations of her response leads to disaster.

Observe the faint representation of the artist herself, hovering ghost-like to the left of the center. We see her hair rendered in stark black. Here, Olivia employs a sophisticated visual metaphor: the image represents a film negative of her psyche. This forces us to question the surrounding color palette. Does the same logic apply to the abundant, aggressive green swirling through the frame? These verdant, winding bands likely represent a suppressed, deep magenta rage, inverted by the artist's subconscious to appear socially palatable.

Chaos reigns elsewhere. Circles orbit the artist, representing her associations with the word 'Ja' swirling at the instant of communication. According to her notes, these allusions include a furry caterpillar she saw last week, purple ducks (both in concept and reality), the taste of toothpaste, and that flower picture she likes, among other things.

Two specific references deserve special attention: mommy's phone and apple juice. The phone shows up as a thought and as a structure: two blue bars that cut across represent swiping motions. Apple juice appears as a bubble too—then leaks into the orange strokes and puddles near the bottom, turning reward into residue. What drives the affirmation? While parents believe children are responding specific questions, Olivia reveals she says "Ja" to all her associations simultaneously. The parent's command is present somewhere, true, but it competes with many other allusions, resulting in a nondeterministic truth value.

Olivia's message is clear: Parents must abandon certainty and embrace ambiguity. Yes, she MAY be agreeing to brush her teeth, but she may also be directing you to find that furry caterpillar. This panel confirms the adage: never trust the verbal contract with an artist.


Conway's Law by Olivia K.
Conway's Law by Olivia K., Marker on paper, 2024

Cat. 06

Conway's Law

Olivia K. (The Okapela Collection) · Marker on paper, 2024 · 35 × 20 cm

Pop Art · Constructivism

While most kindergartners shy away from organizational theory and technical architecture, Olivia K. confronts them head-on in "Operating System," proving that even the most complex systems are merely mirrors of our domestic fragility. She centers the piece on a stark, empty house—a haunting representation of a system idling while its primary processes, the parents and child, are executed in remote environments like "Work" and "School." This void forces us to confront the loneliness of a well-oiled machine with no one left to serve.

One's eye is immediately pulled to the upper-left quadrant, where a spectral chamber contains chairs lacking back legs. Olivia utilizes this missing geometry to warn us of "one-person meetings," those ego-inflating recursive loops that endanger outsiders from entering that space. The instability suggests any system built on such precarious communication structures is destined to collapse under the weight of its own internal logic.

Moving outside, we observe a pervasive right-leaning tilt affecting both the solar disk and local inhabitants. This is no stylistic whim; it is a sophisticated rendering of light diffraction serving as metaphor for hardware demultiplexers. Olivia suggests that the energy driving our lives is being partitioned and rerouted before it reaches the "User." Note the hands of the figures, rendered as stark crosses—pivotal symbols for code branches and network routers, reminding us that every human interaction is a binary decision point in a vast, cold script.

The artist grounds the composition with a formidable sidewalk mimicking a CPU register. A blood-red segment stands out—the pointer register—highlighting where the current instruction executes in this suburban motherboard. Here, Olivia invokes Conway's Law with devastating precision: our organizational structures inevitably mirror our communication patterns. But she inverts the premise. The family does not shape the house; the house has shaped the family. Each figure is tilted at precisely the angle the architecture demanded. They have become subroutines, executing assigned functions with no memory of who wrote the original code.

And yet, look again at that empty house. Olivia has left the door ajar. Is this a vulnerability—a port left open to exploitation? Or something far more subversive: an invitation to crash the whole system and start again? Olivia offers no answers. She has merely rendered the boot sequence. The rest is up to the viewer.


The Highest Potato by Olivia K.
The Highest Potato by Olivia K., Marker and crayon on paper, 2025

Cat. 07

The Highest Potato

Olivia K. (The Okapela Collection) · Marker and crayon on paper, 2025 · 40 × 30 cm

Primitivism

In "The Highest Potato," Olivia K. disguises commentary on the historical transition from mercantilism to market liberalism within a simplistic savanna setting. Close scrutiny is required to absorb the Straussian architecture beneath her marker.

The allegory starts with the nominal tree on the left. Olivia represents the mercantilist system as a long, brown 'trunk': rigid, self-enclosed, her frantic strokes evoking the obsessive accumulation of bullion. Note the single leaves allocated to branches - a harsh critique of a system that claims credit for productive output while refusing to acknowledge the trade infrastructure that generates it. That most branches are hollow enforces the critique. One solid branch does reaches toward the right side of the composition, but never reaches it. This signifies that mercantilism's control is aspirational, not actual. The market has already moved on.

That market stands to the right in the unmistakable shape of a capital "L" — Olivia's cipher for Liberalism, classically defined. The horizontal body, rendered in stagnant orange near the rear, represents centuries of economic paralysis under controlled trade. In contrast, the neck erupts vertically in yellow, marking the explosive productivity that followed liberalization, each brown spot a tariff removed or monopoly broken. At the summit sits the potato: the humblest common staple elevated to the composition's highest point. Her choice of tuber evokes references to the Irish famine, which Olivia reads not as the potato's failure but as the fatal residue of mercantilist policy. Liberalism lifts starchy vegetable to unprecedented heights, and humanity as well by analogy. As she notes in the giraffe's thin legs, the requirements of liberalism are few — property rights, contract law, rule of law, open courts - but they can support enormous weight. The sun smiles on the message, tilting in curiosity in Olivia's signature style. As should we.

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